


Gut Feelings

by MechBull



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:27:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6827716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MechBull/pseuds/MechBull
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someday, they’d both get a chance to rest, to revel in happiness rather than snatching it bits and pieces at a time. </p><p>For now, they had a job to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gut Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Positive treatment of Will/Simmons if that's not your thing.  
> Warning #2: The rating is for (pretty non-graphic) autopsy descriptions.

“You’re standing much closer than I ever thought you would.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, Simmons. If this is the only way I can be near you…”

Jemma glanced up at Fitz, fighting a sly smile. And then she took a deep breath and focused on the body in front of her. Times like this tested her scientific detachment. She picked up the saw, held it for a beat or two, and then lowered it again. When Fitz reached a hand out to her shoulder, she dropped it completely and turned to him for a hug, despite the protective gear that prevented true contact. 

That moment of comfort did not last long though. She was beginning to think there was something to his whole cosmos curse idea – how else to explain the fact that they were finally together and yet barely had any opportunity to actually be together? Nonetheless, the sound of the lab door opening prompted her to release Fitz and step back. They’d tell the others soon, no doubt. Now was not the time.

But then, immediate guilt rushed through her as she faced the new arrival. It seemed awfully petty to complain about not having the chance to kiss her boyfriend as often as she’d like when the thing currently preventing her from doing so was the autopsy of her friend’s dead husband.

“May,” Jemma greeted her, sadly and rather awkwardly.

There was – unsurprisingly – no response at first, as May looked over the body. Jemma’s gaze followed hers and, as nonsensical as it seemed, Lash seemed _small_ somehow, laid out on the table.

“I’ve come to assist you. Fitz, you can go.”

Jemma’s mouth dropped open in protest. She turned, staring up at Fitz who seemed as surprised as she felt. He just barely shook his head, his eyes widening with silent, pleading disagreement. Jemma swallowed, then turned back to May.

“You really shouldn’t – May, you don’t need to be here for this.”

“I want to.”

Jemma hesitated, a small part of her beginning to understand. “Are – are you sure?”

“Yes.”

With a sigh, she faced Fitz again. She shrugged, and after one more moment of intense eye conversation, Fitz gave in. Jemma waited until he left the room before facing May again.

“You should at least put on a mask.”

Jemma could feel her pulse racing, an odd mix of nerves and sympathy nearly overwhelming her. But she forced it away, realizing the best way to help May – to help all of them and honor Dr. Garner – was to do her job. As soon as May had covered her face with a mask and stepped next to her, Jemma picked up the saw again.

“I’m – I’m going to start with the brain.”

“Seems fitting,” was May’s only response. 

Jemma nodded, then – after one more deep breath – she turned it on. The sadly now familiar actions took over, and she found escape in the clinical, mechanical motions. 

“Normal weight and color. No signs of pathologies. It looks…human,” she concluded, speaking loud enough for the microphone to pick up as she twisted to place the brain in a basin for more analysis later.

She turned to the body again, but a soft, unexpected sound made her freeze. May held one hand to her mouth, as if she wanted to stifle any further noise.

“Oh, May.” Jemma stepped closer, reaching one hand out before quickly drawing it back. She removed her gloves, and then followed through on the gesture. Part of her was surprised May didn’t immediately shrug her off. 

“It’s nothing.” May shook her head. “I just wanted – hoped there’d be something obvious. Wrong or – or different. How could he have changed that much, not just in appearance but personality too, and yet still have a perfectly healthy brain? He – he loved the brain, used to talk about it all the time, the anatomy and the functioning. He devoted his whole life to understanding and helping people and – ” May paused, pressing her lips together. “It’s nothing. Sorry, Simmons. Please continue.”

Under other circumstances, Jemma might have tried to figure out if that was the most words May had ever said to her. As it was, she just stood her ground.

“It’s not nothing, May. I won’t continue, not until you take the time to say goodbye to him.”

May glanced at her, offering a small, unhappy smile. “I already did, Jemma. I’d already accepted he was gone, and no longer the man I loved. I thought I had, anyway. And then there was that spark of him, that piece of the _real_ him that fought through and saved Daisy. Now I have to say goodbye to him all over again. I have to wonder if there would have been a way to save him.”

“I understand, May. I understand completely. If anyone would – ”

“It’d be you,” May agreed. 

Jemma was silent for a moment. “Of course, for me, I know that… _echo_ wasn’t real. That’s some comfort, I guess, knowing that. With La – with _Andrew_ , it might have been real.”

“Daisy and I both have you to thank for that. The vaccine.”

“We don’t know that,” Jemma replied, shaking her head. “It didn’t work for Lincoln, after all.”

May sighed. “Anyway. Better get back to work. You need to learn everything you can about him, and just maybe he’ll be the one to help us take out Hive after all. Every piece of information counts.”

“Well, now you just sound like me.” The joke was weak and Jemma’s smile felt forced until – 

“Could do a lot worse,” May responded. “Agent Carter would be proud to have you as a successor.”

The rest of the autopsy went smoothly, with Jemma working systematically and May back to her stoic and professional self, assisting as best she could. Soon enough, Jemma had drawn the sheet over the body, cleaned up, and labeled the samples for further testing. It was only then, as she nodded firmly at May and led her out of the room, that she felt strong enough to return to their previous conversation.

“As sad as I am about Peggy Carter,” she said, smiling slightly, “she’s been replaced as my S.H.I.E.L.D. heroine and role model.”

May was silent for a long moment, before startling Jemma by reaching out to grab her hand and stop her. May pulled her to the side of the hall, close enough to hear her quiet, urgent tone over the persistent hum of the base. 

“Don’t follow in my footsteps, Jemma. You had to say goodbye to one man you loved, but you still have another one you love even more.”

Blushing, Jemma lifted a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear. She struggled for a denial that seemed even remotely sincere.

“Don’t deny it,” May said. “Don’t. Of course I know. And I know the pain and self-recrimination that comes with letting that kind of love get away. _Promise me_ , Jemma, no matter what, you won’t lose yourself or each other to this job. Listen to your heart, listen to your gut, and when it’s time to go, _go_.”

She swallowed, nodding without dropping eye contact. “I promise.”

“Good.” May pressed her lips together hard. “But let’s kill this son of a bitch first.”

Jemma's laugh was completely involuntary and completely incongruous with the tears pooling in her eyes. “There you are. You had me worried.” 

May’s only response was a smirk as she turned and led Jemma down the hall and back to work. Someday, they’d both get a chance to rest, to revel in happiness rather than snatching it bits and pieces at a time. 

For now, they had a job to do.

**Author's Note:**

> This relationship and the parallels between the characters mean so much to me. I'm not sure this story captured everything I wanted it to, but I'm afraid we won't get anything at all in the show itself so it will have to do.


End file.
